Tropico

Dementia: The Self Portraits of William Utermohlen

When he learned in 1995 that he had Alzheimer's disease, William Utermohlen, an American artist in London, began painting himself to understand his disorder.  His self portraits are being exhibited at the New York Academy of Medicine in Manhattan, by the Alzheimer's Association.  The paintings starkly reveal Utermohlen's descent into dementia, as his world began to tilt, perspectives flattened and details melted away.  His wife and doctors said he seemed aware at times that technical flaws had crept into his work, but he could not figure out how to correct them.  Professors claimed that his spatial sense kept slipping, and that he was aware of it.  A psychoanalyst wrote that the paintings depicted sadness, anxiety, resignation, and feelings of feebleness and shame.  Dr. Bruce Miller, a neurologist at the University of California, San Francisco, who studies artistic creativity in people with brain diseases, said some patients could still produce powerful work.  "Alzheimer's affects the right parietal lobe in particular, which is important for visualizing something internally and then putting it onto a canvas," Dr. Miller said.  "The art becomes more abstract, the images are blurrier and vague, more surrealistic.  Sometimes there's use of beautiful, subtle color."  William Utermohlen, 80, is now in a nursing home.  He no longer paints.  His work has been exhibited in several cities, and more shows are planned.  The interest in his paintings as a chronicle of illness is bittersweet, his wife said, because it has outstripped the recognition he received even at the height of his career.  "He's always been an outsider," she said.  "He was never quite in the same time slot with what was going on.  Everybody was doing Abstract Expressionist, and there he was, solemnly drawing the figure.  It's so strange to be known for something you're doing when you're rather ill."

Sulking Soul

The moment that you realize

that your bones are made of the same dust

as the planets,

your lungs are breathing the same air

as the migrating butterflies,

and your blood is pumping because

of the love and care of thousands;

is when you realize

that you are not as broken

as you think you are.

You are full

of the world.

Ingénue

"Your life is not an episode of Skins.  Things will never look quite as good as they do in a faded, sun-drenched Polaroid; your days are not an editorial from Lula.  Your life is not a Sofia Coppola movie, or a Chuck Palahniuk novel, or a Charles Bukowski poem.  Grace Coddington isn't your creative director.  Bon Iver and Joy Division don't play softly in the background at appropriate moments.  Your hysterical teenage diary isn't a work of art.  Your room probably isn't Selby material.  Your life isn't a Tumblr screen cap.  Every word that comes out of your mouth will not be beautiful and poignant, infinitely quotable.  Your pain will not be pretty.  Crying till you vomit is always shit.  You cannot romanticize hurt.  Or sadness.  Or loneliness.  You will have homework, and hangovers and bad hair days.  The train being late won't lead to any fateful encounters, it will make you late.  Sometimes your work will suck.  Sometimes you will suck.  Far too often, everything will suck - and not in a Wes Anderson kind of way.  And there is no divine consolation - only the knowledge that we will hopefully experience the full spectrum - and that sometimes, just sometimes, life will feel like a Coppola film."

                                                                                        -Letters From Nowhere 

August Inspiration

Youth

"Before you know it, it's three am and you're eighty years old and you can't remember what it was like to have twenty year old thoughts or a ten year old heart."

                                                                                                      -Unknown

July Inspiration

Shackled In My Embrace

Wayfaring Stranger

"I'm not sure what I'll do, but-well, I want to go places and see people.  I want my mind to grow.  I want to live where things happen on a big scale."

                                                                            -F. Scott Fitzgerald

Halcycon

Here are some photos that I took of my friend, Micaela.  I obviously have a penchant for black and white.

Blithe

"Just look at life with more playful eyes.  Don't be serious.  Seriousness comes like blindness.  Don't pretend to be a thinker, a philosopher.  Just simply be a human being.  The whole world is showering its joy on you in so many ways, but you are too serious, you cannot open your heart."

                                                                                          -Osho

June Inspiration

Characters Of No Illusion

May Inspiration

Lust List

Here are a few pieces that I'd love to get my hands on.  Let's just pretend that my wallet isn't an empty black hole for a minute, okay? 

Marc by Marc Jacobs "Clearly Colorblocked" Bag

Never again will you have to dig deep into your bag to find your cell phone or lipstick.

Chanel Beaute Des Ongles Matte Top Coat

The latest nail trend of the season.

Homg Platform Sneaker by Jeffrey Campbell

The sensible platform fused with the exotic print is perfect for summer.